nope, not gonna tell you my progress about losing weight. tunggulah ada semangat sikit, will blog about it.
this time, about work again.
yes, isnin hari tu, i was soooooooooooooooooooo depress sebab ada masalah berlaku kat lab. i even blog about it, but i think macam tak sesuai kot. so i buang. plus, benda-benda sedeh sangat ni malas nak tulis nanti kang baca balik boleh terluka balik hati. look at that o yang panjang tu. i was supersad that monday, memang monday blues habis! i was literally chanting 'rabbi yassir wala tu'assir' over and over again. dari lab sampai rumah, nangis depan husband, then recite again and ask Allah to forgive all my sin and to grant my wish la la tu jugak. see, how desperate i am that time.
the power of do'a ladies and gentlemen. i toss that problems away, 100% berserah pada Allah to settle it.
and after that monday, i am happy, all my work are done smoothly, i even met my sv last wednesday and he was in a good mood, i was in a good mood, the discussions went well, the samples were safely sent away, have solved few problems, and i am glad.
even ada satu hari lagi, which is today, al jumaah, penghulu segala hari hope that it goes smoothly as well.
and yes, its the power of do'a, walaupun Allah tak bagi apa yang aku nak, but all the things that He gave me this week makes me happy, and for that, I thank You Allah, for all those things that make me a happy human this week. and life that You've given me. Nikmat yang tak disangka-sangka, as been told in ayat seribu dinar
so talk about work again, I met my sv again this week, we've been emailing each other since Monday. I can see that he always give good advice and kind of cares. he even ask me what is my plan after i finish this all. i told him that i want to gain more experience in this area, by doing post-doc maybe. walaupun post-doc tu bukanlah satu kerjaya sangat. but i really think that gaining expereience and be very good in this area is crucial, sebelum aku melangkah kaki untuk mengajar, and become a lecturer. he seems like he has plans for me, Alhamdulillah if benda tu betul. yes, i will be staying here. so don't worry dr, i want to be a structural biologist (insyaaAllah) and willing to help you out solving all those protein structure and discover new function of those hypothetical proteins.
yes, literally, we talk about our 'future' together. haha.
and yes, that kind of pep talk, membuatkan aku bersemangat membuak-buak dan tiba-tiba rela nak sambung buat research lagi. kalau tak tu, rasa nak maki-maki, kejap rasa nak quit, kejap rasa nak mogok, kejap rasa nak buat kerja MLM pulak.
i think that's the kind of obstacle that we, the postgrad student should face. ketahanan hati. we didnt get decent pay for our work. for masters, kerja org berkelulusan diploma lagi tinggi gajinya. we didnt get any medical coverage (but we can go to uni's health center tapi tu pon sebab dalam yuran memang kita dah bayar siap-siap). aku yang tua ni, tak boleh buat pinjaman perumahan sebab we are not having an 'actual job'. plus gaji pun sikit (but enough for me to live decently). We are students. we do what students do. tapi tulah, kalau tak ada ketahanan hati, bila-bila je boleh nak quit. and I'm thankful that I've went this far, and insyaa Allah dah sampai nak hujung hujung ni (even i dont have that much result to discuss - but should think positively) i would say i want to quit but mungkin tak seriuslah macam dulu yang sampai nak takat-takat hidung siap cari kerja lain attend interview and all sebab thinking about quitting. and Allah knows best. He shows me the path. i should be following it, dan tetapkan hati..
Ya Allah, panjang pulak aku membebel this time. i think that's all for now. its already 2 am. need to sleep to reduce weight. lol!