fashya nak citer pasal baby, aku pun sibuk lah nak cerita pasal baby. today, genap 5 bulan kami kahwin. next month will be half a year already! how time flies...
so, what's up with the babylicious thing? surely, aku sentiasa berhadapan dengan soralan bonus like "dah ada isi ke belum, dah pregnant ke? dah ada zura junior ke? what so over.
well, let's flashback to 2 months ago. aku mula loya, nak muntah. then terus muntah 2 hari berturut-turut. 1st day was at my own house. pening semua ada. then second day, a trip to kedah tu terus muntah dalam kereta, nasib baik ada plastik. it was time actually for my period to come. not late, but around that time. tak menentu, biasalah, tak boleh estimate. but you know when this thing happen, haruslah kepala menerawang memikirkan hal 'itu'. mak pun dah gembira-gembira. eh apehal mak nak gembira-gembira? salah makan kot!
then i was sooooo curious, and curiosity kills the cat kan..mine is like curiosity kills the money. you guys know the answer already. it was negative after i bought this dip and tell. nasib baik dapat beg kecil as a free gift.
then last month, i was having this fever. pening lagi, but not muntahlah. it was around that time too. i have no guts to ask my colleagues.. who definitely have those experience (well one already has a cute 3 month baby boy and the other two are expecting). but i heard before that you will have a slight fever when you are conceiving, something like that.
so that was it. my mind was running wild and off i went to the pharmacy, the same guardian at seksyen 3. so my curiosity kills my money again. it was negative. i was upset actually. walaupun dalam hati kata, ape salahnya kalau negative pun at least kita tahu it was negative and still can jump around again..hehe
so this month. it happens again. but not the puke thing and the fever thing. my period has been delayed for 4 days now and i'm sure this is it. so i went to the pharmacy AGAIN to check and to confirm.
so guess what?
there is no baby in my uterus right now and i don't know what to think and how to react. what is this??????
so that's it. i'm telling you guys that i'm give up. tapi kalau perkara-perkara pelik macam ni berlaku to a married women like me, whom people asked frequently about that question, especially my mom, how can you react on that?
aku tidak stress nope, i am so happy with my life now (kecuali hal kerja) i eat happily and gained more weight time to time. i'm also in the process of living my life actively (supaya kurus sedikit).
so that's it. next time if the symptom come, aku nak buat tak tahu je. berharap itu tak best. perasaan berharap then tak ada/tak jadi tu yang tak best. aku redha je. nak ada, ada. tak nak ada, sudah..
ps: sometime, when people ask me that question, i will think that gosh, the are like asking me bila hujan nak turun. manala aku tahu! tak percaya pada rezeki kot...